Paper-Thin Heart

Beautiful voice, beautiful song.

Mother, can you hold me together
It's so dark and I'm losing my way
I took all of these detours to find love
But when I did, it just faded away

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Mother, your words are so healing
You speak of love and of light and of peace
But I've made it my course to avoid you
Just to hide from these feelings of grief

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Now what do I do
With the sweet love of mine
Do I give it away and
Hope someday I'll find
Someone half as awake
As the moon and the stars
Mother, teach me to love
With a paper-thin heart

Mother, I know you are with me
You were there when I took my first breath
I can't stop looking back for the answers
I just keep coming up with regret
There are some things I just can't forget

Happy Halloween!

There's someone strange... in the neighborhood.

Bye Bye October! It's been fun.

I can't believe October is almost over. This month totally whooshed by me - and that's good because I can't wait for Christmas to come and bring me lots of good cheer. I have been pretty cheerful lately and part of it is due to my realization that to be happy, one must work on it and not just wait for something good to happen or hope for luck. You'd think this is common knowledge but knowing something and actually doing it... so not easy. So I've been busying myself these past few months with positive thoughts and good vibes as well as working on my relationships with the people around me.

I've also been giving serious thought to my sedentary lifestyle and I will probably enroll in a gym near school that has indoor wall climbing and yoga. Two activities that I'm interested in the most. Ever since I started driving to and from school, I've been walking less and I don't like that. I'm pretty active at work but it's not enough. I want to be fit! I want to be a size 2!

This coming week should be fun and hard. Tomorrow is my mid-quarter evaluation for practicum and I'm really nervous. This practicum thing is a big deal and I'm on my second and last one. I will meet with my contact teacher (who I work with in the classroom) and my practicum teacher and they will tell me how I have been doing so far in terms of my interactions with the children and the staff and the activities I've done in class - scary! To add to that, I have several papers to submit which I haven't worked on yet and will probably do at the last minute like I always do.

But the fun part will come near the end of the week, I will watch a back-to-back showing of Toy Story 1 and 2 in 3D and Astroboy! Yipee! Plus it's Halloween this weekend - I don't know where I'll be on Friday or Saturday night but I'm hoping I will get to do something FUN with my friends. Another week, another month.

Driving to Reno

I'm leaving for Reno in about an hour to visit my family. My mom is leaving for the Philippines (for good) next week so my sister and I want to see her before she goes. Atsi and I won't be able to go back to the Philippines for a while so we really have to go and say goodbye. I love seeing my family but I'm just not crazy about driving Bruce up the mountain. Sigh, I hope the drive will be smooth all the way. I actually enjoy driving here in the US. It's not stressful like in Manila where you have to watch out for so many things on the road. Here, I drive on the freeway or on a regular street and I'd check out without even realizing it. A friend of mine told me that when she drives, she sometimes doesn't even realize what she's doing until she arrives at her destination. I like being on auto pilot sometimes, and when you're driving - it's fun to let your mind wander and take you to places you never thought you'd go.

Don't It Feel Good?

I haven't been to the mall in ages. I miss the mall.
I haven't been spending a lot of time with my girl friends since school started. I miss my friends.
I haven't been out on weekends much. I like staying home but I'm missing out on a lot of things and places I could explore.

There's no stopping me from going out, especially now that I have a car, but I've been noticing lately that I'm spending too much of my free time in my head. I read somewhere that a shrimp's heart is in its head, I think mine is too that's why my brain feels awfully crowded and busy these days. I just can't seem to separate the two although I've promised myself to do things differently this time around. Easier said than done because boy, old habits die hard.

Sigh, I'm feeling the blues this wonderful Saturday afternoon - what's up with that? Life is good and I'm such an idiot! I think I'm going to take Bruce for a drive later while listening to some new songs from Glee. I need me some walking on sunshine and maybe a slice of cake from Red Ribbon.